Mascara Streaks

I am drowning. Not literally but I may as well be. 

I am confused. I don't know if the relationship I am in, is the one I committed to. 

I am upset. I feel betrayed by the person who professes to love me.

I am tired. I feel like I have tried and failed at everything and I don't know what else to do. 

I am loved. By others who seem to value me as a person more than you seem to. 

I am crying. I spend more nights than not silently sobbing, either in my heart or for real. 

I am worried. I do not know if this is something I want to continue but I do not know for sure. 

I am terrified. Scared of making the wrong choice and missing something. 

I am sad. Every time you say that you do not know how much more you can take I get more scared and sad.

I am depressed. Did we fail? Did I fail? Is it my fault this does not seem to be working.

I am begging. Begging God to give me guidance in this. I need You. 

I am heartbroken. Feeling I have failed again. Feeling like the broken one. Feeling like I am incapable of love.