"You said some things you thought I couldn't hear"

Ever have those moments where you have the sudden urge to just say absolutely everything that you are thinking? 

That happened to me Tuesday night. It was 4 a.m. I should have wanted to sleep. But my brain would just not turn off. 

All of these quotes were running through my head. All of these questions. 

I wasn't laying down. He asked me what was wrong. 

Nothing. Nothing is wrong.

He knows me better than that by now. 

Really? What is up?

He was so tired. I tried to explain. 

Got scared. 

Made something up.

Stopped. 

He quickly fell asleep. 

I heard his breathing even out and become steady. Heavy. 

Well, six hours of sleep over two days will do that to you. 

I laid there. Propped up on my forearms. The song came into my head.  

"Last night you gave me a kiss. You didn't know it, but I was awake when you did . You were quiet, you were gonna let me sleep. So I just laid there pretending to be. You said some things you didn't know I could hear and the words I love you, never sounded so sincere." 

Do I risk it? I really want to say it out loud. With him here. He is asleep. He will never know. He will probably think it was a dream. But what if he is awake? What if he hears me and freaks out? I don't want to scare him. But...I really do...I really do want to say it. Come on, Abby. It isn't like you are saying it for real. Go. Go. Do it. There is no way he is awake. Say it. 

I laid back down. Still thinking. I can't. It makes it too real. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if I am just being crazy? What if I am jumping too soon?

I can't. 

Even writing this now I can fell my stomach free falling. Does writing this make it real? Yes? Maybe. Last night's conversation reassured me. When to say it?

I really want to. Oh my gosh, do I want to? I have admitted to falling already...I just left out that one word.

I think. I think...I think I am falling in love with you.